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The following morning after the most incredible and improbable

night of my brief but unspectacular life, I found myself swimming in an overflowing

chalice of love’s intoxicating and everlasting nectar. Cupid had finally struck me

down and I was officially down and out for the count.

Fully expecting and taking for granted Diana would invite me over to

her hotel room once again, I was unpleasantly surprised and extremely disappointed

when she had failed to do so like I had hoped and prayed she would. During our

usual, subtle flirting throughout the course of our long and tedious workday,

neither of us hinted at nor talked about what had happened between the two of us the

previous night, much to my disappointment and curiosity. As much as I wanted to see

Diana after work, I knew it wasn’t going to happen since she had already left work

for the day. I could only guess as to why she didn’t want to see me. The not

knowing part drove me crazy.

Once

home amidst the chaos of my grandmother’s house and unable to clear or relax my

racing mind, I struck up the courage to do something rather rare and out of the

ordinary for me. If Diana was bold enough to invite me to her hotel room without so

much as knowing my last name or whether or not I was crazy, then why on earth

couldn’t I show up unannounced at her hotel room just once? So after meticulously

re-grooming myself and a quick change of clothing, I hopped into my car and was off

to see Diana. A few minutes into my frenzied drive, I was overcome with an unusual

but impulsive urge to buy Diana some flowers. It was my symbolic and shy way of

letting her know just how much I liked her and wanted to be a part of her life since

I was too cowardly to come right out and say it to her. The only problem with my

impromptu, last minute decision was all of the floral shops I had stopped at were

all closed. But then I remembered the grocery store adjacent to the restaurant I

worked at would still be open and if my memory served me correct, would have some

floral arrangements for sale.

I

had never purchased flowers for a woman before, nor anyone for that matter, so I

hadn’t the slightest clue or inkling as to what to expect in terms of their variety

and prices. I think the phrase sticker shock best described my reaction when I

found out their cost as I aimlessly browsed through their varied assortment of

flowers, vases, and baskets available. The only thing I had enough cash for, sadly,

was a bouquet of lesser quality flowers put together by one of the grocery store’s

uninspired but helpful female employees. They weren’t exactly the dozen red roses

in a ribbon, wrapped vase I wanted to buy Diana, but they weren’t a bunch of

withering dandelions either.

As I

pulled into the hotel parking lot a nervous wreck for what seemed like the hundredth

time in the last few days, I sat inside my car like the perpetual coward I was, yet

again, worrying about showing up unexpectedly amongst other troublesome and trivial

things. I even opted not to bring Diana’s wilting bouquet of flowers with me, or at

least that’s how they suddenly appeared to me, as I slowly and wearily exited my

vehicle unsure of what was about to happen. I didn’t want to be stuck holding an

embarrassing bouquet flowers if Diana was mad at me and turned me away at her door

even though our immerging friendship and relationship suggested she would never do

such a thing. But then again, there was something just not right between us. I

still couldn’t wrap my mind around the idea of someone like her being into someone

like me. My gut instinct kept warning and screaming for me to, BEWARE OF DANGER and

PROCEED WITH CAUTION as I drunkenly tiptoed my way along a delusional tightrope of

love with Diana.

Much

to my relief and luckily for the overall good of my sanity, at least what little I

had left, Diana welcomed my unexpected visit with open arms as she immediately

invited me into the warm and embracing glow of her hotel room. Once we both stepped

inside and just as soon as I noticed Randy wasn’t anywhere to be found, Diana led me

to her bed where we both promptly took a seat. While I sat there, I noticed some

sort of drawing or sketching on her bed and asked if it was hers to which she

unenthusiastically replied, “Yeah”. She then explained to me how she was trying to

draw a dragon while promptly setting it aside and changing the subject. We

continued sitting on her bed talking and chatting about nothing in particular for a

little while longer before her rambunctious roommate Randy came storming through the

door with one of our macho and heavily mustached coworkers hanging all over her

body. I only knew he was from the restaurant because of the standard company

uniform he was wearing and although he looked familiar, I didn’t know what his name

was nor did I ever remember actually meeting him.

The

one thing I took away from my brief yet surprisingly intimate and personal

conversation with Diana, before we were rudely interrupted, was how she wanted to

own her very own, “little house on the prairie”, house someday. She gave a very

descriptive and detailed picture of what kind of house she wanted to live in and it

took me a little by surprise when I discovered what her dream house was. I had

always imagined a beautiful young woman wanting to live in a luxurious, posh mansion

and living the lifestyle of the rich and famous but all Diana wished for was a

little white house with a front porch and a swinging chair. Listening to Diana

lovingly describe her dream house to me was like envisioning a place I wanted to

call home someday, although I would’ve gladly lived with her inside of an igloo if

that’s what she wanted as long as it meant I got to be with her.

With

the four of us awkwardly inside her hotel room and the action between Randy and her

male companion heating up, I asked Diana if she’d like to go for a walk to which she

enthusiastically and surprisingly replied, “Yeah.” As we casually exited the front

door of the hotel in relative unison, Diana quickly took the lead and led us towards

a strip mall located on the other side of a busy six lane highway directly north of

the hotel. I couldn’t help but notice as we walked Diana wasn’t wearing any shoes

or socks. I don’t exactly know why, but something about her walking around barefoot

in public made me like her even more if that was even humanely possible. She was so

different from anybody else I’d ever met before. She certainly didn’t act or have

an ego like I thought a drop dead, gorgeous woman would.

Feeling and acting as if I was on top of the world and just as soon

as we began to cross the highway in seemingly symbiotic unison, we both took notice

of a speeding car headed in our direction as I cockily assured her not to worry

because I’d never let anything happen to her. Diana to my surprise, questioned my

statement, once we made it safely across the street, with unwavering doubt and

skepticism. I tried to explain to her how I would have gallantly pushed her out of

the way if she was about to get hit by a car or at least dove in front of her.

Judging from the sound of her voice and the skeptical look on her face, she didn’t

believe a word I said or that I’d be willing to die for her although I absolutely

would have.

Wanting to hold Diana’s hand as we walked but not confident enough to

do so, I kept my wavering and bashful right hand as close to hers as possible in the

hope and prayer she would eventually take the initiative. Lucky for me, Diana

reached over to my right hand and tenderly interlocked her small and petite fingers

with my short and stumpy ones as we walked hand in hand towards the strip mall’s

abandoned sidewalk. I found it rather odd and somewhat amusing, during our slow and

romantic late night stroll, when Diana would stare through the storefront windows as

if she had just seen a unicorn dodging in and out of the aisles. When I asked her

what she was looking at, she quickly turned to me and said with all the enthusiasm

of a kid on Christmas morning, “Window shopping!” I think she was somewhat

surprised when I told her I had never heard of that before nor ever done it. It

never crossed my mind or interested me in walking around late at night looking at

stuff I couldn’t afford to purchase. Although doing it with Diana was an altogether

different story because of how fun it was to see her get excited whenever she

spotted something she liked. We continued to playfully walk like this for little

while longer while Diana and I looked in and out of storefront windows before

promptly turning around after we reached the Arby’s restaurant at the end of the

strip mall. Time had never seemed to move so fast as when we made our way back

towards the hotel grounds amongst the late night sweeping of a noisy street cleaning

machine in the background.

Not

wanting our romantic late summer night to end, at least not yet, we stopped along

the way to sit on the grassy slope of a small hill just east of the hotel while

Diana and I continued to enjoy each other’s company both in words and in silence

until a swarm of nasty, biting bugs forced us to move our romantic night indoors.

But before we could even make our way back to the inside of the hotel, I whispered

to Diana I had a small surprise for her waiting in the front seat of my car, though

I wasn’t quite sure how she’d react to receiving flowers from someone she barely

even knew. Thankfully, all of my concerns and trepidations were put to rest the

instant she wrapped her loving arms around me and gave me the hug I’d been waiting

for my entire life. Then having made our way from my car to the inside of the

hotel, we stopped to sit on the hallway stairs just below the second floor door

leading up to her hotel room. I asked Diana if we were sitting in the hallway

because she was afraid we’d be interrupting her roommate and her male companion if

we went back to her room. She quickly answered my question by getting up and

walking towards her hotel room without ever saying a word to me. After lightly

knocking on her hotel room door and hearing no response, Diana ever so slowly and

cautiously unlocked it while cautiously tip-toeing her way inside. Much to her

surprise and mine, no one was inside her hotel room, thank goodness.

Lying on her bed, looking at Diana resting on her backside beside me,

I asked her if I could kiss her. The moment she nodded her head in approval I

leaned towards my right and with all the love I could muster, slowly kissed upon the

only pair of lips I ever wished to kiss for the remainder of my life. Though the

one notable difference from the other night’s kissing session was the way Diana used

her palms to push me slightly away from her as we kissed with both our tongues and

lips. I didn’t understand why she was doing it at the time but I later hypothesized

it was due to the thick, sandpaper like stubble on my face. Every time we kissed it

probably felt like her face was being exfoliated or even sandblasted. I was a

novice at the art of kissing, as I still am, and had no idea what type of damage I

was capable of inflicting upon a young lady’s delicate and fragile face.

In

the midst of our odd but steamy make out session, as we mostly kissed with our

tongues and not our lips, I asked Diana if she was on birth control or had any

protection to which she casually informed me there was a condom in the upper table

drawer right next to her bed. The moment she mentioned the word condom, I felt like

a shark swimming in some newly bloodied water just itching for the chance to get at

it. So having been whipped up into a sexual frenzy by Diana and wanting to have

sex with her now more than ever, I frantically and desperately snatched the condom

from the upper table drawer, without having opened it, and began simulating

missionary sex with Diana while holding in an obnoxious and ridiculously itchy

fart. Life couldn’t get any better I thought as I lied on top of Diana “dry

humping” and “bumping uglies” with her without either of us ever having removed any

of our summer clothing. Though don’t get me wrong, I wanted more than anything to

put the condom on and have real sex with Diana, even though I had never put one on

before, but I was preoccupied with the thought of her roommate walking in on us

while in the thrills of passion so I never bothered to tear it open.

Satisfied and content at what Diana and I were doing and just as we

were really starting to get into it even more so than before, Diana confessed

something to me I’ve never been able to forget or get over.

“I HAVE A BOYFRIEND.”